Just A Wank
by XGlamorousxGlueX
Summary: Remus refuses to accept it, but Sirius always helps him solve his most embarrassing problems. TWO SHOT
1. Chapter 1: Just A Wank

**Here's something I did while trying to type the worlds longest essay on the worlds most boring topic one sad, stressful midnight. Also, many, many thanks to everyone who helped me out with my kinks question. You'll be pleased to know that I have several stories in the works ;]**

**A quick shout out to Yaoi-Ojou-Sama who is probably my favorite reviewer ever :D **

**Disclaimer: The only thing i'm proud of is my fierce loyalty to this ship. They are canon. You just didn't read the books right :P**

**Just a Wank**

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><p>Remus had never wanted to just crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of his life.<p>

It's not a sentiment that he would willingly admit and it was obvious how much of Sirius' dramatics were rubbing off on him. Tonight was one of the worst he'd ever had in his entire life.

It was an overstatement but a damn good one. Sweet Alice Jones had treated him quite fairly during their disastrous trip to a secluded section around Hogwarts. She smiled and told Remus she didn't think any less of him. Remus just wanted to get back to his room, crawl into bed, and…

'Hello, my recently shagged werewolf!' Sirius couldn't care less if the other boys were sleeping. He talked as if it wasn't midnight.

'Pads, I'm tired. Can we leave this for the morning?' The truth was that Remus didn't want to talk about it at all. Right now he just was wanted to get rid of Sirius. Maybe if he began to undress and laid down, he'd get the point.

'Come on!' Sirius flopped onto Remus' bed, ignoring the other boys' glare. 'How far did you get?'

'Padfoot. I-'

'Did you stick your hand down her knickers?' Sirius practically trembled with excitement, eyes loosing all trace of sleep.

'Sirius!' Remus dropped his head in his hands, sighing long and loud in order to get rid of his headache. He felt the bed dip slightly and knew Sirius had gotten his message.

'Remus? Mate, what happened?' Very few people actually had the chance to hear that concerned tone in Sirius' voice.

'I said it's nothing,' Remus climbed onto his bed, back resting on the headboard. 'I swear I'll tell you in the morning.'

Sirius looked confused. What could possibly be so horrible that Remus Lupin, the one person who always said that talking was better than keeping it all in, didn't want Sirius to know. Decision made, Sirius pulled the curtains closed, deciding whether or not he should a Silencing charm. It Remus cried, he didn't want him to be embarrassed by having the other boys wake up. The charm was placed and Sirius was ready to be of good use.

'Right. What really happened?' Sirius sat cross legged on the bed, eyes intently focused on the werewolf.

After a while, Remus mumbled something under his breath that Sirius couldn't understand. It was like when he was eating and tried to scold Sirius at the same time, words sounding like a drunk mountain troll.

'Uh, didn't catch that.' Sirius dragged himself closer to Remus when he saw his face scrunch up in disgust.

'I couldn't get off,' Remus whispered the words with so much contempt, Sirius backed up a bit.

'Oh,' Sirius tried to think of something, anything to fill in the silence, to help his friend.

'It was probably Alice. She's too curvy, you know.' Yes, that's it. Sirius was a genius. 'Maybe you like them a little more…narrow. That's how I like them.'

Remus shook his head and looked straight into Sirius' eyes. 'What if it's my condition? What if I can ever get off again? Ever? What if-oomph!' Remus was cut off by Sirius' hand, which had been clamped over his mouth mid-tirade.

'There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect.' Sirius didn't quite understand why he said it with so much emotion. He just knew Remus needed to be reassured, that's all. 'It's not the condition. According to your books, werewolves have brilliant stamina. You probably just needed something more…stimulating.'

Remus was really confused now. He had no time to think about it any further. Sirius began to move and he sat himself right next to Remus, bunching up the duvet to cushion his back.

'Stimulation, Moony. What were you think about?' Sirius scratched his stomach unconsciously and it was then that Remus noticed he didn't have a shirt on.

'I think this is rather personal,' said Remus as he shifted uncomfortably under Sirius' stare. The last thing he needed was to spill his sexual fantasies to the one boy who _lived _on sexual fantasies.

'It matters quite a lot,' said Sirius with a shrug. 'If you're not thinking about the right thing, there's no way you'll get your cock up.'

Maybe if Remus used his pillow to smother himself it would all end…

'If you can't get your cock up, how do you expect to fuck anyone?' Sirius continued, oblivious to his friends' discomfort.

'Alright! I was thinking about her doing, you know…' Remus moved his hand up and down in the air to explain what he was too shy to say out loud. He wasn't a prude. He just didn't like the way Sirius' eyes brightened when he mentioned the one thing Sirius was so used to doing himself. If all those midnight wanks Remus had to listen to were anything to go by, Sirius was an expert.

That made Remus laugh.

'I know you're laughing at me, so stop it. Alright, this is going nowhere.' Sirius looked pensive for a moment before he sat up, giving Remus a sidelong glance. 'There's another way but you can't be embarrassed to do it.'

'What are you babbling about, Black?' Instead of a verbal response, Remus watched as Sirius began untying his pajama bottoms. 'Sirius, what the bloody hell are you doing?'

'Get your kit off.' Sirius leaned back to raise his ships and pulls off his pants, as if getting naked in front of your best friend was the most normal thing in the world. 'While I'm still young and attractive!'

Remus thought about it for a moment. He could take off his clothes and do whatever Sirius wanted to see if he actually would be able to feel something down there again. He could shove Sirius off the bed, make fun of how freakishly long his cock was, and simply go to sleep. He could do that and never find out if there was something wrong with him. Sirius _did _know more about these things, anyway…

'Don't look.' Remus tried to intimidate Sirius with a glare but failed when the animagus laughed.

'Let's see that glistening member, Moony,' laughed Sirius as Remus undid his trousers. 'I crave to see your throbbing manhood!' Raucous laughter filled the small space and annoyed Remus to the point of yanking everything off in a swift movement.

Sirius laughter slowly calmed down to a chuckle, his eyes fixed on Remus' cock. Sirius titled his head to the side and Remus saw the way his eyes narrowed and widened.

'It's really pink.' To say that Sirius was an eloquent being was a huge lie. 'It's nice. As far as cocks go, I guess.' Finally having looked away from Remus, Sirius realized he sounded like a fucking virgin.

'Um, thanks?' Remus was at lost as to what would happen next. He just really, really wanted to go to sleep.

'One way we can see if you'll ever blow a load is a good wank fantasy.' Remus didn't know what the fuck was happening. 'Think about the filthiest thing that little brain of yours can come up with, then wank.'

Sirius gave him an encouraging nod and for some reason, Remus had felt like he had to listen. For some sick reason, he didn't feel embarrassed at all either. What's the worst thing that could happen? He thought about some girl sucking him off in a classroom. Yes, Remus thought, that's filthy enough. He chose not to imagine a face, that would be disrespectful. His hand was touching his cock lightly, barely even stroking. He imagined how it would feel to have a throat around his cock, to have it completely swallowed-

''No, no, Remus. Is that really how you do it? No wonder it refuses to get hard.' Sirius let out a suffering sigh, moving closer to Remus so that their thighs touched, making Remus blush unexpectedly. 'Look at how I do it. Move your hand up, then squeeze it a bit on the top.'

Remus stared at how Sirius' hand moved up the length of his cock. He found it interesting how it wasn't completely flaccid. He watched as Sirius' fingers closed tighter, thumb barely touching the tip. He continued watching, unaware that his breathing had quickened and that Sirius had turned to look at him.

'You do it now.' Sirius' voice sounded breathless and his eyes were starting to look glazed. Watching Remus watch him didn't make him feel uncomfortable in the least. He tightened his grip on his cock a little bit harder.

Remus closed his fingers around himself, imitating the way Sirius had done with his. He thought it was strange how fast he felt aroused, as if he'd been thinking about something sexy for the last ten minutes. Without thinking, he glance quickly at Sirius' cock again and turned away just as fast.

Sirius' cock was stiff and hard, his hand moving slowly still. Sirius suddenly let go and raised his hand towards his mouth, licking a stripe up the entire length of his palm before bringing it back down again.

'Don't chafe yourself, Pads,' Remus joked, feeling the tension ease a bit from his body. When Sirius laughed, Remus knew this wasn't so bad as he thought it was.

'Yeah.' Sirius shook himself, remembering he had a mission to complete. 'Now go faster, like me.'

Sirius reclined lower on the bed, his hand picking up more speed than before. He sighed shakily and closed his eyes as he began to lose himself in what Remus thought to be his own fantasy. His right leg kicked out suddenly, and Remus watched the whole thing with unabashed interest.

When Sirius opened his eyes to look at him, Remus tightened his grip instantly, which earned him a soft moan. He couldn't help it. Those normally grey eyes were blown out and, for some reason Remus couldn't explain, he thought it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

'Come on, Moony. Go faster.' Sirius whispered the words, yet they held so much arousal that Remus didn't feel bad for feeling the same thing. He obeyed and was amazed at how quickly he had gotten a hard-on. No girl he'd ever gone out with had been able to make him hard so fast.

Remus' hand moved in time with Sirius'. Their eyes were closed and they tried not to noticed how much louder their breathing sounded. Sirius ignored Remus and how he moaned really quietly, as if he was trying extremely hard not too make any loud noises. Remus ignored the way Sirius shifted and moved his legs reflexively, sometimes hearing a soft thud whenever Sirius dropped his head back.

'Now reach down, touch your balls.' Sirius sounded so breathless that Remus, for a moment, thought he should stop it all now. He should tell Sirius this was a mistake. They should have never…

'Fuck…' Remus jerked back to reality when a hand that definitely wasn't his cupped him. He turned, ready to tell Sirius to stop when he noticed how Sirius was still stroking himself and touching Remus at the same time. He forgot what he was going to say.

Sirius sat up again, face so close to Remus' that he was able to see the tiny wrinkles of Remus' scrunched forehead. For a moment, they stared and panted and stroked each other. Remus liked how Sirius' mouth was open, tongue licking his lips when he twisted his hand on the down stroke.

Remus had never felt anything like it. Sirius' hand had moved to Remus' thigh, which made Remus suddenly want to see Sirius come and moan loader than he was right now.

'Sirius…' Remus was cut short when he felt Sirius' tongue lick the side of his jaw, hips flexing forward into his hand as he pulled back to look at the other boy.

'Come…together, yeah?' said Sirius, grinning wide when he received a quick nod from Remus. The boy was flustered, his eyes were half shut and his lip was caught between his teeth and _bloody fucking shit _his cock was huge.

'Oh sh-shit! Coming! Sirius…' Sirius didn't know why he thought it was a good idea. But that look Remus gave him was enough for Sirius to move forward, to place his mouth unto Remus' lips. He missed, or course. He only caught Remus' top lip in his mouth but he still sucked it in, tongue sliding along it.

Remus came and his entire body moved along with his orgasm. His hips undulated towards his still blurring hand and he moaned right onto Sirius' face as the other boy pushed back as his orgasm hit him as well. Sirius went completely stiff, his stomach completely soiled but his hand stroked until it actually hurt. Still, however, they didn't move away and kept their foreheads touching as they regained the ability to breathe again.

'You passed the test, Moony. You're not a freak,' Sirius finally opened his eyes and Remus was glad to see him smile, not to turn away in regret.

Remus only managed to nod as he laid back down on the bed. Sirius cleaned them up and began to put on his pants when Remus said, 'Thank you, Sirius. I guess I'm not a freak.' Sirius snorted and Remus chuckled as if nothing had happened. Because really, nothing happened.

But as they rested in their own beds, wide awake, they tried to convince themselves that it was just a wank. A quick, brilliant, hot wank.

_Was it?_

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><p><strong>It has the potential to be a two-shot, right? I'll just say that this event needs closure :]<strong>

**R/R please and thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2: Come Again

**Part 2 because you guys are pervs and wanted more ;] **

**A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed! You guys are just so sweet and asdfghjkl;!  
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**P.S. I love these bastards :3  
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><p>The morning after was like any other.<p>

Sirius woke up exactly thirty minutes after Remus, staggering into the bathroom as the werewolf walked out. His bed hair was the worst to date and he had the most childish pout, yet he manage to give Remus a small smile when he closed the door.

Remus had never felt more relieved. The events of the other night were still fresh in his mind, oddly enough. He hated to admit it but he still felt Sirius' lips against his neck. As he dressed, he checked to see if Sirius had left any marks. He didn't want to explain any of this to anyone.

The week went on as usual.

Classes were normal, not counting History of Magic which always managed to be the most dull class. Lunch was a normal affair for the four boys and, once, James and Sirius had spent the entire hour talking about how stupid it was to leave dungbombs inside their pockets the entire morning.

Sirius kept giving Remus smiles and winks, like he always did. But now it was a bit different. He didn't shove him away when he got too close, a habit Remus' mother had always tried to teach him no to do but failed when she noticed how much he liked being close to people.

Instead, Sirius would press closer against him, making Remus cough nervously when James told them they looked like they were stuck together.

Other times, Sirius stared. A lot. He stared at Remus as he ran towards his next class. He stared the whole time Remus explain a particular wand movement to Peter. It wasn't his normal stare that he gave people when he felt the conversation was pointless and should be left for later. It was like…that night. Remus caught Sirius looking at his neck several times.

They both knew it didn't mean anything. They just noticed things that they hadn't been aware of before.

Exactly one week after The Wank, Remus invited a pretty Ravenclaw to study. They did study…for a short while. The library wasn't the most romantic place for a snog but she now opened her mouth into the kiss and Remus forgot all about romantics.

Soon she moved onto Remus' lap and deftly moved to kneel in front of him. Remus was so excited and nervous that he thought he might come as she unzipped his trousers. He didn't remember her name, though. Was it Sandra, or Susan? No, it was Sarah. Merlin, he was turning into Sirius…

Remus heard a noise and instantly came back into focus of his surroundings. He looked and listened, for once grateful he was able to hear and see things that other people could not. He heard what he thought was someone breathing or moving along the aisles. It couldn't be Mrs. Norris, or Filch. Madam Pince never came this far back but, what if she did? What if he was banned?

There! Remus saw a shadow and he held his breath while Sandra ( or Susan) was completely unaware of Remus' mental battle. The thing came closer and closer until…

Sirius leaned against the bookshelf, dust flying everywhere as he settled against it.

Remus was at lost. He had a lovely girl on her knees, sucking him off in a dark corner in the library, yet the one thing that made his cock harder in an instant was the mere presence of his best friend. He tried to look away, to think of the girl (Sarah?) and her mouth but Sirius was smirking now, giving Remus that _fucking _look.

Remus arched on the wooden chair, gagging the poor girl with his sudden movement. A quick 'sorry' cheered her up and she kept on sucking. Sirius stood there, motionless for a couple of minutes before he moved his hand over to his cock.

Remus closed his eyes and tried so, so hard to think of the girl (Hannah?) but he failed, eye searching for Sirius when he opened them again. He had to bite his lip, hard.

Sirius had his hand down his trousers, not wanking like he wanted to get off quickly, but simply stroking like he was waiting for the right moment. He followed a rhythm, Remus noticed. Every time the girls' head moved up, Sirius moved his hand along with it under his pants. When she went down, so did Sirius.

Remus moved his hand unto the bobbing head, pushing it down faster until the girl got the point. He stifled his moans really well, breathing through his nose, which made him sound like Moony after running around nonstop the entire night.

Watching Sirius' arm strain and move so rapidly brought Remus to come quickly. As he came, he felt like he had no control of his head whatsoever, letting it fall back and then tilt to the side as his mouth opened to let out a loud gasp.

The girl spat out the remnants of his orgasm on the floor and Remus tried not to cringe when he noticed just how badly he mussed her hair up. He looked up and noticed Sirius had left, disappointment filling Remus when he realized that he didn't get to see him come.

After a while, Remus walked her back to Ravenclaw Tower. She told him that they could arrange another date soon so that he could show her what he probably was desperate to do.

He avoided her after that day.

Another week had passed and still no change or awkward moments between the two boys. Sirius saw one girl during the week but quickly avoided her because she, according to Sirius, 'was too whiny.'

Then something happened.

Remus walked towards Gryffindor Tower after having successfully finding all the books he needed for a class when he was yanked into a dark, musty classroom. Faster than he could even think about reaching for wand, Remus felt a warm body move against his, Sirius' scent filling his nose.

'It's me, don't worry.' Sirius' body was trembling, due to arousal or cold, Remus didn't know. Sirius began to rock his hips against the werewolf, the only part of their bodies that touched.

'You shouldn't do that, Pads.' Remus knew it was useless, to try and stop Sirius. How could he stop Sirius when he couldn't stop his own hips from jerking forward?

'You've ruined me, you know,' Sirius' breath tickled Remus' neck. 'No girl has ever done what you did.'

'And what exactly did I do?' Remus broke off with a soft moan as Sirius moved himself to fit inside his parted thighs.

'Make me want more, you prat!' Sirius growled as he cupped Remus' cock suddenly, laughing into his neck when he heard the clatter of books hitting the stone floor as Remus' hands hung uselessly in the air.

'Not…' Remus bucked into Sirius. 'Not here.' He pushed Sirius away to get his mind and breathing under control. Then he grinned. 'Last one to our room is a nancy!' Tripping over books, Remus ran from the room, laughing, while a very angry and a very hard Sirius Black ran behind him.

It wasn't a long run, but that didn't stop Sirius from screaming how he was going to hang Remus from their window by his cock. Those poor first year children would never be the same…

The door slammed against the stone wall as they both used their bodies to push it open, immediately reaching for each other once they were inside the confines of their room. Remus' bed was the closest and he was pushed backwards towards it, undoing his clothes as he went.

'James? Peter?' Sirius asked, breathing heavily while taking his cloak off.

'Class. Library.' Remus managed to take his shirt off, eyes fixed on Sirius' hands as one undid his tie while the other moved swiftly over the buttons.

Trousers and pants were next, the distinct sound of belts being pulled quickly out of belt loops making them pant harder. Not once did they look away from each other, transfixed as they had less clothing every time they blinked.

Sirius finished first and stood over the werewolf, the tip of his nose bumping into Remus'. Not daring to ask the questions verbally, he looked into Remus' eyes, breath hitching a little as Remus gave a quick nod.

Sirius dove in, mouth opening to accept Remus' tongue which was now eagerly sliding along his. He pushed Remus back, moaning as the tip of his cock slid along the warm skin of Remus' stomach.

Remus pulled back to look up at Sirius, biting his lip as he shook his head in disbelief. 'This is mad, you know. _Fucking mad.'_

'It could be worse,' Sirius said before giving Remus a quick peck on the lips. 'You could be James.'

Dual sounds of disgust started a half hearted wrestling match, with Sirius trying to press Remus down while Remus tried to push Sirius off. Hooking his leg around one of Sirius', Remus managed to flip them over but froze when his cock slid alongside Sirius'.

'Do it again.' Sirius moaned as Remus rocked against him, one hand slamming down on his lower back to bring Remus closer. Remus felt dizzy and for a moment he thought he wouldn't be able to concentrate fully on the back and forth movement he was supposed to do.

'Move your hands here,' Sirius said, grabbing hold of Remus' hands to place them on the bed, silently wondering how many books Remus had to carry to have such firm muscles.

With Remus bracing himself, Sirius reached between them to grab both their cocks, liking the feel of hot and slick skin. They moaned simultaneously, encouraging Sirius to stroke them at the same time.

Remus whimpered into Sirius' mouth as he moved above him. He'd thrust his hips down just as Sirius' would snap up, stilling his hand for a moment before they pulled apart to do it again.

Sirius pulled Remus' head down for a kiss, moaning and hissing into his mouth even as the boy moved wildly above him. The thrill of seeing his shy, calm Remus turn into this whimpering, trembling body above him only made Sirius stroke them harder.

Gasping hard enough to make his lungs hurt, Sirius looked between them, an overpowering wave of arousal making his head fall back when he saw two red, wet cocks in his grip.

'Coming,' Sirius barely managed to choke out as he finished them off. Remus' thin frame convulsed as he came, then began to snog the breath and moans out of Sirius mouth when his orgasm hit him.

They both got a sense of déjà vu when they found their foreheads touching, much like the last time. Only this time they kissed and hummed pleasantly when they brushed the back of their hands on each others' cocks.

Suddenly, Sirius began to chuckle as he turned to lie on his side, taking Remus along with him.

'What?' Remus began to clean himself up.

'Thought of something.' Sirius' fingers were idly drawing circles on his stomach. Remus stared.

'That's impossible.' A hard smack against Remus' thigh became a soft caress.

'I just thought that I should change my name to Sirius Black, The Impaler of Men.' They turned to look at each other for a moment before Remus snorted and Sirius guffawed into Remus' neck.

'The Impaler of Men? Bloody hell, how many blokes are you going to fuck?' Remus didn't feel jealous. He didn't.

'No one if you don't,' Sirius proposed with a quirk of an elegant eyebrow. Remus sobered up, then nodded before finding his mouth filled with Sirius' tongue again.

It was just a wank, really.

But it was the one wank with the most brilliant and mind blowing consequences.

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><p><strong>Again, thank you for sticking around :D<strong>

** I was thinking (impossible!) if I'll ever be able to write anything below a T rating again...nope.  
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**R/R please!**


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